I’ve been listening to some fantastic recordings on “The Spiritual Life of the Writer” taught by Allen Arnold at the 2014 Mount Hermon Christian Writers’ Conference. Allen’s messages have really revived my heart. So much of what we are told as writers focuses on what we need to be doing to achieve success. Allen’s talks focused on remembering Who is really in control and placing our full trust in God instead of on our own resources and abilities.
One of the topics Allen touched on which I found very convicting was what he termed “The Orphan Spirit.” A person with this outlook is like a kid who knows just what he wants for Christmas. He goes out and buys all his own presents, wraps them up himself and puts them under the tree. That way, he ensures that he won’t be disappointed. He also ensures that he will never fully experience the mystery, joy, and wonder of Christmas morning.
I’m pierced to the heart when I recognize how prone I am to this temptation. Instead of waiting with eager anticipation for God to reveal the amazing things He has in store, I try to work out contingency plans, just in case He decides not to answer my prayers. I’m far too prone to figure out ways to get what I think I need that don’t require God’s intervention, or even His involvement. Instead of walking humbly with my God, I attempt to make an end-run around Him.
Lord, forgive me for my self-sufficiency. Help me to stop acting like an orphan and to start trusting in your goodness. Teach me to forsake my natural inclination to handle things on my own. Teach me to look to You with great expectations, trusting in Your goodness and reveling in the mystery of being Your daughter. Much Love, Your Little Girl
Thanks, Kim. I felt so convicted by Allen Arnold’s message. One year, I actually ordered my own birthday cake, when all the while my husband had a plan to surprise me with a specialty cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory for my party. God’s really been showing me that I have this terrible tendency to try to handle things on my own instead of waiting on Him. I think of it as self-reliance. He looks on it as a lack of faith.